The times they are a-loopin'

I don't make much of a secret of it; I do love me some weird ol' drawn out Sci-Fi bollocks, I really do. I was surprised to not enjoy Annihilation for that exact reason because on paper, it's right up my alley. Predestination is a fine example of two hours of viewing that had me scratching my head for weeks afterwards (I keep going on about it, but because it really needs to be seen to be believed I refuse to spoilerise it at all), as is Primer which gave me turned my brain into all kinds of knots. The problem with this sort of movie is that sadly it just doesn't have any sort of mass appeal what so ever. Your average audience doesn't want to ponder the intricacies of the space time continuum unless Doc Brown is garbling something about jigawatts while Marty narrowly avoids ploughing his own mother (the fact neither of his parents have some sort of mental breakdown once they realise their son grows up to be look exactly like very guy who got them together in the first place is the subject of quite some internet debate). Time travel is tricky and never really works; there's always a loose end or a weird paradox or temporal loop threatening to tear the universe apart that scriptwriters conveniently paper over because nobody wants a cinema full of grown adults sobbing into their popcorn over the existential crisis you've brought on just because you thought it would be amusing to put Mr McFly in a cowboy hat. Not that I'm knocking Back to the Future, but scientifically I think they're probably bobbins. However, it does means that most of these brain bending Sci-Fi delights are shunned from cinematic release and either head straight to DVD or now times have moved on, Netflix or similar.

So it is with The Endless, an almost completely under the radar little oddball gem that I would have completely missed had it not been for a random trailer appearing on my Facebook timeline, in what is probably a cynical preferred advertising algorithm watching everything I say or do. For once it worked out OK, kudos to you Cambridge Analytica. That trailer was decent enough to draw me in and part with my hard earned cash when the DVD appeared out of the blue. It's written, directed and starred in by the guys who brought us Spring which was another neat little straight to DVD Indie Sci-Fi horror effort which is well worth the watch. I think I caught it on Netflix way back in the day, but I think it's probably off rotation now. Anyway...

The premise is a relatively simple one; two brothers manage to escape an alien worshipping death cult and are living relatively normal if a bit boring lives. One is adjusting less well than the other so when he receives a video invite to The Ascension they decide to go back for a visit and presumably a good old shindig with refreshments. Realistically, it's a fairly sloppy way to get our heroes into the thick of things, but it at least makes sense within the world we're watching so I guess we'll allow it. It of course isn't long before weird things appear to be afoot and we get the usual parade of freakish cult members, who are actually really quite normal which probably makes them all the more sinister. They're played in very broad strokes; the leader figure is a swell guy in a checked shirt who plays a mean Hammond organ solo (not until now did I realise how creepy a Hammond organ can be in a 60s sex pest kind of way) but also has complex mathematic equations chalked on his wall; there's flirty flower-girl who seems to be really into drugs, making clothes and sending video invites out to parties that she doesn't remember sending (unknown if she's cashed the cheque from You've Been Framed Yet), an escaped mental patient who has found peace at the commune but also paints terrifying, prophetic paintings nobody is the least bit bothered about, and creepy old guy who has the key to the largest, most conspicuous padlock in all of Christendom and a beard. It would have been nice to have seen a bit of character development, but in fairness that isn't what this is about; this is about making your brain ache slightly trying to work out what the devil this film is on about.

What's refreshing is that it's actually quite subtle and my Foreshadowing Alert System was only briefly triggered a couple of times. There are lots of circles, dotted around pretty much everywhere but it’s the other stuff that gets you: why does everyone remember the brothers as kids despite looking all the same age? Why are there odd geological projections dotted about the campsite? Why does the 19th Century explorer dude keep exploding in his tent every five seconds? Why are there 3 moons? Why is everyone except the Post-It note lady actually happy about the Hammond organ solo? How is the karaoke version of House of the Rising Sun so awful? The good thing is that as much as The Endless loads up the questions at the beginning it does genuinely pay them off at the end. This could have been another Lost style fiasco where the audience slowly descends into a horrible mix of tedium and hatred that reduces them to floods of blubbering tears every time they see Damon Lindelof's name on a credit scroll (although that is a fair reaction, the man's a hack). They tease a monster and there genuinely is one, rather than it all being metaphorical or dreamed or a combination of the two. Be ye warned though, there isn't a big reveal because 1: budget and 2: actually there doesn't need to be.

It gets pretty dark in places too; it slowly becomes obvious that in a desperate attempt to extricate themselves from their fates the people at the camp end up attempting to off themselves to varying degrees of success in order to avoid ending up in the clutches of our completely unseen protagonist. Keeping that bit spoiler free is tricky, so trust me when I say it's less straightforward than it sounds and is handled in such a fashion that it doesn't glamourize suicide in the same way the much vaunted/vilified '13 Reasons Why' does. I regretfully bore witness to several episodes of that shite while someone else was watching it and I can confirm it is one of the most vacuous, self-congratulatory and pious lumps of turd Netflix has ever pumped out in the name of social consciousness. That's a conversation for another time though, back to dodgy Sci Fi. The success of The Endless is that it isn't looking for a cheap pop with gore or some shabby slasher flick vibe; it wants you to revel in the weird, embrace it and perhaps take it out for reasonably priced seafood and a couple of drinks. Maybe on to cocktails at a night club and see where the evening takes you. We judge not.

It's not for everyone, I'll warrant. I doubt many of you will rush out to Asda with seven of your English Pounds (that's pre-Brexit Pounds, in a few months we'll likely be paying for stuff with gravel) to grab a copy as soon as the doors open and those of you who do take a punt, I reckon about half will launch it at me next time you see me and that's fine, it's a reasonable response. It's a shame though, because if you're into slightly trippy, glacially paced, low budget Sci-Fi weirdness, it's a definite winner.