You're the best around, nothing gonna ever keep you down.

As unbelievable as it may sound, I do sometimes get accused of being a touch negative. Now, this comes as much of a shock to me as it does to you, but it is the way of the world. Ordinarily, I would deflect such baseless and wild accusations toward Hollywood for generally creating a mire of brainless nonsense to appease the lowest common denominator and that picking through the detritus for gems is a thankless enough task without being hauled over the coals for it. Unbelievable sounding proclamation number two (not bad for a Monday morning) is that actually there are a host of movies out there that I not only enjoyed, but also thought were really good (the two things are definitely not equivocal which explains why anybody can sit through more than 30 seconds  of any entry in Fast and the Furious franchise). In recent memory Bladerunner 2049 got the Anger in a Man Suit seal of approval, as did Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle and although I never actually got round to writing about it, Black Panther was fantastic. Honestly, I find it loads more difficult to write about films I enjoy, although that probably says a lot more about me than it does about movies. That being said, in the name of trying to fill your Mondays with lightness and joy, I'm going to have a crack at my Top Ten favourite movies in the world ever.

Today seems to be the day for unbelievable statements so I'll throw a third at you. I have over the years liked enough movies to have amassed a sizeable DVD collection and narrowing it down to just ten is an absolute nightmare. People who struggle with silence will often ask what your favourite movie is but I think if you can answer that succinctly, you probably haven't watched enough movies. Still, getting down to ten was nigh on impossible and I'm still not 100% convinced I've nailed it, but here goes... 

10: Southland Tales

Probably a surprise entry on anybody's top ten, assuming anybody actually watched it. Was it equally as surprising that a high-concept, time travel-oriented, Sci Fi weird-fest with The Rock that was pre-empted by graphic novels and a viral website and directed by the same guy who did Donnie Darko didn't set the box office ablaze? Not really. It's long and it's confusing but for some reason if I ever need cheering up I can stick this on and it puts a big old smile on my face. Highlights include a sex scene between SUVs (you read that absolutely correctly), Justin Timberlake covering The Killers, Sean William Scott playing himself twice and The Rock delivering all his lines like it's a Wrestlemania promo. And Kevin Smith playing a really old guy because if Prometheus taught us anthing, it's that actual old actors don't exist. Borderline genius.

9: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

There are precious few adaptations of books that do justice to their source material on film, but this if any is one of the greatest. Even though its following seems to predominantly drug addled teenagers who think consuming massive amounts of narcotic substances and causing general chaos is something to aspire to, Fear and Loathing is genuinely a great film. It helps that I love Terry Gilliam as a director and the fact that Johnny Depp has made a career out of playing rambling, chemical dependant fiends. 

8: Akira

Akira is legendary, even if you aren't a fan of Manga. It was the first Japanese animation I ever watched and it should be noted that even 20 something years later it still kicks most other animated features square in the gloopy, mutated mess where their teeth used to be and leaves them disoriented and snivelling by the way side. The fact that they keep threatening a live action version is frankly an affront, especially when you consider they wanted, Zac Effron to play Kaneda at one point. Sacrilege. I owned this on Limited Edition VHS when I was younger and I was absolutely chuffed to bits. I think I still have it actually. 
7: Transformers: The Movie

Not the dreadful Michael Bay Transformers where you can't tell one over-designed robot from another for huge swathes of screen time, but the original animated Transformers movie. It followed on from the Saturday morning cartoon that effectively informed my sense of right and wrong and forged me into the towering beacon of morality and ethics that stands before you today. I remember being distraught when Optimus Prime died, terrified when Spike looked like he might buy the farm in a vat of acid and so pumped that Hot Rod opened the Matrix and proved he was more than a half arsed innuendo voiced by the rebel from The Breakfast Club. The Anniversary blu-ray from last year is a pure joy to behold and more than makes up for the fact that it really is just an hour and a half long toy commercial. I believe it may also have been Orston Welles' last role. 
6: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

I'm not a massive Wes Anderson fan in general, but there's some about this movie that really struck a nerve. I don't know why exactly. Zissou is a bit of a dick, but Bill Murray makes you genuinely root for the guy despite all the appalling decisions, poor treatment of interns, mysoginism, and criminally negligent helicopter maintenance. The ending is beautiful and I can't listen to Sigur Ros without it somehow triggering all the dust in the room to float directly to my eyes. 
5: Robocop

One extreme to another; there is very little sentimental about Robocop but it is so much more than just an action movie. It's a Verhoeven movie so there's layers of political allegory and social commentary but moreover there's a half man half machine with a giant gun putting big holes in people. It's brutally violent, incredibly viceral and it had some of the most nonsensical dubbing for television you've ever heard, you bad mother crushers. 
4: Aliens

Alien is all well and good, but you can't beat Colonial Marines. It's also chock full of bad ass quotes which I've been randomly inserting into conversations for over two decades. It's a crying shame that this was really the last decent movie of the franchise, but it's cemented itself in cinematic history. The directors cut is definitive for me and puts even more meat on the already considerable bones. To this day, whenever anybody asks me if I have any questions, I still have an automatic reflex to answer "How do I get out of this chicken shit outfit?" 
3: Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness

My Dad took me to see this on my 15th birthday as my first official 15 rated movie and I still feel like a dick because I sat right at the front and he sat a few rows back where he could be comfortable. 15 year old me obviously needed words having. Still, I love this movie; it's just the right balance of action, horror and stupid slapstick comedy that only Bruce Campbell is capable of pulling off. Again, totally quotable but the best part is the multiple endings. I own it on DVD at least twice but I can never remember which one has the S Mart ending and I always pick the wrong one. 
2: Star Wars (Trilogy, but Empire Strikes Back really)

If you've known me long enough then you might be somewhat taken aback that Star Wars isn't number one. You know what, it's kind of a joint number one thing, but if I did that everything would get bumped down and I feel like I've written about Star Wars enough. I love the original trilogy, and despite everyone's best efforts to ruin everything with the newer efforts and constant tinkering  (you still can't get the theatrical releases on DVD or blu-ray) I always will. Empire Strikes Back is the best of them all; it's such an anti-movie, with basically the good guys getting stomped and the bad guys walking off looking all smug. Plus it has snowspeeders which are the best vehicle in the history of cinema ever. Fight me. 
1: Predator

I'm not sure words can do justice to quite how much I love Predator. It was the first 18 rated movie I saw, in France, in French at the tender age of 12. Looking back it may have been the start of a steady decline, but even so. It isn't big, it isn't clever but it is a spectacular series of the coolest action sequences committed to cinema. There probably isn't more than about 5 pages of dialogue in the whole script (almost all of which is quotable) but who needs that when you have the coolest alien this side of the Xenomorphs themselves and Arnie chewing the scenery inbetween chomping on a cigar and randomly getting into gun flexing contests with ex wrestler and Governor of Minnesota Jesse The Body Ventura, Apollo Creed and Sonny Land ham who was reportedly so wasted and mental off set that he required a bodyguard to keep everyone else safe from him. Brilliant. I'm looking forward to Shane Black's remake, but you'll need to go a long way top this.